Tom Brady

NFL Picks Week 5: Vikings get a week off

By The Coach and Dr. Football

Our fearless prognosticators are set for Week 5. The Vikings are off, the Panthers, Dolphins and Jets also have byes.

This week, the Detroit Lions have to overcome terrible officiating, the Dallas Cowboys have to survive no offensive weapons and Tom Brady and the Packers, Broncos, Falcons and Bengals are set to go to 5-0.

Last week Dr. Football was solid. The Doc went 10-5 (35-28) and 6-9 (29-34) against the spread. The Coach went 11-4 straight up (37-26) and 7-8 against the spread (33-30).

This week, the Doc writes brilliantly about our exquisite choices while The Coach will spend his time eating pork rinds and screaming at all the stinkin’ flags.

Thursday Night:

Houston's Ryan Mallet

Houston’s Ryan Mallet

Indianapolis Colts (2-2) at Houston Texans (1-3)

Line: Pick ‘Em

Both teams are in total disarray. That being said, the expectations on the Colts puts more pressure on the team and I guarantee, that will result in panic. Watch the Texans rebound. The Coach says: If Luck doesn’t play, Matt Hasselbeck will not win two weeks in a row.

Dr. Football: Take the Texans.

The Coach: Take the Texans.

Early Sunday Afternoon

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-3) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3)

Line: Buccaneers by 3

Both teams in one sentence; inexperienced quarterbacks and bad kickers. Stay out of Florida unless you’re into bad pro football. Go with the home team. The Coach says: Fortunately I have NFL Sunday Ticket and won’t have to watch this game.

Dr. Football: Take the Bucs to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Bucs and hold your nose. Ah, yes, and, OK, the Bucs will cover.

Buffalo Bills (2-2) at Tennessee Titans (1-2)

Line: Bills by 3

Bills play with gusto, so much in fact they may set an NFL record this season for penalties. Titans are terrible, but they’ll keep it close. The Coach says: I love Tyrod Taylor, but not on the toad. Not even against Marcus Mariota.

Dr. Football: Take the Bills to win but not cover.

The Coach: Take the Titans.

Cleveland Browns (1-3) at Baltimore Ravens (1-3)

Line: Ravens by 6.5

The Ravens 0-3 start is in the past. They’ll make it two in a row against a usually lousy Cleveland team. The Coach says: The poor Browns will NOT win with Josh McCown at quarterback, no matter how well they play.

Dr. Football: Take the Ravens to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Ravens to win and cover.

Marr Ryan, Atlanta Falcons

Marr Ryan, Atlanta Falcons

Washington Redskins (2-2) at Atlanta Falcons (4-0)

Line: Falcons by 8

The Falcons are back on track and are for real. The Redskins got lucky last week and will pay for it in the Dome. The Coach says: The Washingtons are better than anyone thought and they will compete on Sunday. They just won’t quite be good enough against a very good Falcons team.

Dr. Football: Take the Falcons to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Falcons to win but not cover.

Chicago Bears (1-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-3)

Line: Chiefs by 9.5

Chiefs kicker Cairo Santos can take the night off and they’ll still win. The Coach says: Poor Bears got a win last week. Not this week.

Dr. Football: Take the Chiefs to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Chiefs to win and cover.

New Orleans Saints (1-3) at Philadelphia Eagles (1-3)

Line: Eagles by 5

In what looked like a big Week 5 matchup when the schedule was released has turned into a battle of two teams headed in the wrong direction. Has Chip Kelly’s Philly welcome worn out? The Coach says: The Eagles don’t have much of a quarterback but this is a battle of two bad teams. Take the one at home.

Dr. Football: Take the Saints in an upset.

The Coach: Take the Eagles to win and cover.

St. Louis Rams (2-2) at Green Bay Packers (4-0)

Line: Packers by 9.5

The Rams faced the Cardinals on the road last week and now travel north to face the undefeated Packers. Obviously the NFL schedule maker hates St. Louis. They can’t repeat last week’s magic. The Coach says: This one could get really, really ugly.

Dr. Football: Take the Packers to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Packers to win and cover.

Seattle Seahawks (2-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-0)

Line: Bengals by 1

The Seahawks stole one at home against the Lions on Monday and will steal one on the road. Bubble burst time for the Bengals. The Coach says: The Seahawks had to get a fortuitous call from one of the NFL’s many terrible officials in order to beat the horseshit Lions at home. They’ll get killed in Cincinnati.

Dr. Football: Take the Seahawks in an upset.

The Coach: Take the Bengals to win and cover.

Late Sunday Afternoon

Arizona Cardinals (3-1) at Detroit Lions (0-4)

Line: Cardinals by 2.5

The Lions put it all out there in Seattle and still came away with nothing. Arizona got a wakeup call against the Rams and will be angry. The Coach says: The Lions have no offence for reasons I don’t understand but they ARE at home this week.

Dr. Football: Take the Cardinals to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Lions

New England Patriots (3-0) at Dallas Cowboys (2-2)

Line: Patriots by 8

The well-rested Patriots face Brandon Weeden who has lost 10 consecutive games as a starter. Not fun days in Dallas. The Coach says: With a still angry Tom, Brady coming off a bye week, this could be a complete massacre.

Dr. Football: Take the Patriots to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Patriots to win and cover.

Denver Broncos (4-0) at Oakland Raiders (2-2)

Line: Broncos by 5.5

The Orange Crush is back. Even with a sputtering offense, the ferocious D can will Denver to win. The Coach says: Doesn’t matter where he plays, Peyton Manning is better than Derek Carr.

Dr. Football: Take the Broncos to win and cover.

The Coach: take the Broncos to win and cover.

Sunday Night

San Francisco 49ers (1-3) at New York Giants (2-2)

Line: Giants by 7

People wrote off the Giants too early. Peyton’s little brother will show the NFL which Manning can still get the job done. The Coach says: The Giants aren’t that good, but they’re better than the Niners and they’re at home.

Dr. Football: Take the Giants to win and cover.

The Coach: Take the Giants to win and cover.

Monday Night

Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers

Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2) at San Diego Chargers (2-2)

Line: Chargers by 3.5

The Steelers will have had 11 days to lick their wounds after giving a game away to the Ravens but a cross country won’t play in their favour. Losses like the one to the Ravens hurt the team’s morale and that’s hard to recover from. The Coach says: Phillip Rivers was lucky to beat Cleveland last week. However, for the second straight week, Rivers plays against a starting quarterback who shouldn’t be the starting quarterback. That should make him lucky again.

Dr. Football: Take the Chargers to win but not cover.

The Coach: Take the Chargers to win and cover.

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